Ah, CPH. Bliss.
Fast-track security has one lane, which, by default, is the Muppet Lane. So that was fun. (Made even more so by a certain co-traveller's ability to lose his plastic bag of toiletries in the carry-on-sized bag he's buried in his actual carry-on bag... yeah.)
Finally get out of that madness and head for the lounge (after running the gauntlet through the inevitable duty-free.) Boarding pass says we can go to the Atelier lounge or the Apartment lounge. Are either of them signposted? Are any of the lounges? Come on, this is CPH.
In the end, we gave up and went to the information booth (having stumbled upon it completely by accident. On the wall of this booth was a map, with all the lounges marked. They're scattered all over the place. Because CPH.
In front of the map, one of those advertising displays, with a TV in portrait mode and the whole thing on little wheels. Not advertising anything, not giving any information. Hell, not even plugged in. Its sole purpose in life was to prevent people from seeing the map. Because, you know, CPH.
Bollocks to the Atelier, it's about a week's walk away, through a damn mall that forgot it was supposed to be an airport. Because CPH.
Were any of the four lounges that begin with A the Apartment lounge? Well, yes, sort of. Turns out it's the Aviator lounge. Apartment by Aviator. OK, this one is half Finnair's fault, but if it wasn't confusing it wouldn't be CPH.
And don't even get me started on our attempt to use their "information" screen.
Yeah yeah, can't find the lounge, first world problems
Right now I'm looking out over a couple of restaurants and a bar-looking thing called The Bird. Which is what I give to the "designers" of this ClusterPHuck.
And we still have to find the gate.
Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast:
For it is the number of a man; and its number is One hundred threescore and twelve.